The word I quite possibly dread more than anything else. I hate the titles, the expectations to impact people. I just wanna love on people, and God (the King of Irony) decided it would be a great idea to give me the attributes that many look for in leaders. So in order to be a D-group (discipleship small group for freshman girls) leader I have to read this book called spiritual leadership and it’s really been teaching me some things. There are a lot of leaders who used to be just like me, despising the title and passing off leadership roles as soon as possible. But then they have that moment of recognition that they have been outright rejecting Christ’s call on their lives, that God has put things in them that the world obviously needs. Wow. Ain’t that a slap in the face? Like oh you wanna serve God?…then stop denying Him the joy of using you for His purpose. I think I just doubt the power of God in me. I mean He’s given us access to the Kingdom through the Holy Spirit, yet we still find ourselves in doubt. This whole “preparing for leadership” thing has taught me the difference between faith and trusting.
Faith: God can do it, He can come through. It’s knowing and believing God’s nature and His promises.
But trusting is like faith put in action. It’s knowing that God
can will do what He said, more than just theories and nature, but a God that comes through.
So I want to be more trusting and walk into who God has created me to be. Leadership is in no way an expectation of perfection, but simply a call to be open and vulnerable and encourage others through the daily grind of life. It’s a greater responsibility to make yourself accountable and walk with integrity. But most of all it a beautiful chance to be used by God to show His great God and relentlessly pursue His presence. Is it pressure? Yes. But all I can do is cling to God and not allow the fear of punishment and losing position to dictate my actions. Instead, I want my actions to be dictated by a heart set on the Father of Lights. All I can do is take this one step at a time and trust that God will guide me.