So two day ago I found myself waiting for a train to get back to SLU after a cardinals’ game. I was suddenly reminded of almost exactly 4 years ago when I was waiting at a BART station to catch a train to the airport for a student ambassador trip. At this point in life I was 14 and still incredibly depressed from the death of my grandmother and the fallout that seemed to consume my family. In that moment, staring at the tracks, I remember playing with the idea of how easy it would be to simply step off as a train was coming. I think I was just looking for a way to end the darkness and depression that was creating a hole inside me. But as I looked at my family, I knew I couldn’t possibly leave them to contemplate the mess I had kept hidden in my mind.
Standing on that ledge in St. Louis made me think back to that day and filled me with so much joy I can’t possibly explain it. God truly has had his hand on my life from the very beginning and I can never thank him enough. I want to go wherever he leads me and do whatever he asks of me just for the possibility of giving someone else that moment of joy.
1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me!”
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
8 For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9 that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living.
10 I trusted in the Lord when I said,
“I am greatly afflicted”;
11 in my alarm I said,
“Everyone is a liar.”
12 What shall I return to the Lord
for all his goodness to me?
13 I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the Lord.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
in the presence of all his people…